Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Saturday, 28 April 2012
it all came apart
Friday, 27 April 2012
it's nonsense to be jealous of water
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
On day 18, and 18 is Chai - life, we also remember the fallen in the battlefields of Israel's survival. It's different here in NY but in Israel the music on the radio is different and the grief more tangible, the silence loud. I think of friends of mine today, the ones now buried, and the many within ripple range mourned always but by all today.
Netzach of Tiferet: eternity of compassion, meets infinite loss. And in this silence there is gratitude, humility, a candle lit in simple statement: the lights in our home of hope are still on.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Monday, 23 April 2012
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Saturday, 21 April 2012
something that is
Friday, 20 April 2012
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Amichai: Hours in the library today, page after page, searching for just that perfect Hebrew poem, a blend of raw and real and not too dreary, for these days of national memory and historical hope, shoah and Independence, calamities and calmer joys. Oh the twisted tired tirades of the brokenhearted! Oh the blood drenched poets at the end of battle, waiting wailing widows, weeping willow, homeland or a no man land? way too many words.
Father wrote no poems in the camps or ghetto, not on crowded trains or on the barefoot march. Twisted bits of barbed wire, those crowns of thorns, sang silent psalms instead of him, electrocuted borders pointing like fingers at the empty heaven, fingers too weak to hold a pencil even if he had a pencil, even if there was a word, but there were no words, there were just numbers, rows and rows and rows.
So on this night, commemoration of that courage and despair, I count till 12, on way to 50, seeking beauty in confinement, meaning where perhaps is none. Hod of gevurah, a nod to wires twisted and a count that goes beyond all words and numbers and point at a heaven that is maybe empty and maybe waiting for a new poem to be found inside a passing cloud.
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Monday, 16 April 2012
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Saturday, 14 April 2012
the first gathering of the first week. 6 more to go
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Monday, 9 April 2012
Amichai: My neck's been hurting me for weeks, months maybe. Gotten so stiff it's hard to turn it to the left without pain. Finally had a massage yesterday by an expert who told me - you are carrying all your expectations of being perfect, always, in your neck. Let go. be perfectly imperfect and love yourself as is, while striving, softly, for being better. Or something like that. She's coming back today for round 2.
Day 2. On the top of a mountain in the Galilee, on a journey to another mythic mountain in time, with all that's broken and hurting and can't be thrown away, like neck or necklace, and how I've hurt people and where I carry my shattered dreams and blame, but - a journey with intention, to honor what is and aim for better. Like Darya the masseuse said: first you really focus on what's hurting, then you can, somehow, heal. Gevura of Hesed - discipline of kindness, courage to face our broken selves and carry on.
עמיחי: הצוואר תפוס לי כבר שבועות, חודשים, כה קשה עורף שקשה לפנות שמאלה - פיזית (בלבד) ואתמול, על ראש ההר בצפת, סוף סוף
מסאג' אינטנסיבי ועמוק ודריה המטפלת אמרה לי: אתה סוחב את כל הציפיות למושלמות תמידית בצוואר שלך. שחרר. היה מי שאתה כולל אי השלמות ובו בזמן שאוף בעדינות לתיקון ושיפור. או משהו כזה. עוד מעט היא באה לטיפול שני.
יום שני למסע על ראש הר אחד ובדרך להר מיתולוגי אחר, יחד עם כל מה ששבור ותפוס וכואב ומייחל ומושלם ולא. סוחב איתי את הכל כולל הפחדים בכוונת שיפור עדינה. גבורה שבחסד - אומץ ומשמעת לקראת תיקון המידות ותיקון בכלל. אומץ להתבונן בשבור וכואב בחסד - ולהמשיך בדרך.
Sunday, 8 April 2012
Amichai: On the first day of this journey a plate is broken, with intention, not as an accident. This act of breaking is often done when two young people become engaged, a sign of celebration, of promise, of fragments sanctified as a hopeful promise of wholeness, of fixing the broken pieces. In some traditions it is considered good luck to keep one of those shards, esp. when looking for a mate.